The Bane of My Suburban Existence
I'm driving down the road, and all of a sudden I have to slam on my breaks for an SUV who has slowed down to the crawl equal to that of a centipede in front of me. Why?


These are things that I just don't understand. They are a waste of cement. Why would we put little bumps on the road that cause people to inch over them, only to have them speed up twice as fast on the other side? Does that sound like it prevents accidents to you? I don't think so.

Now, aside from being completely pointless, speed bumps give my quite a few laughs. I love it when I'm driving behind a Cadillac Escalade, and they slow down to two miles an hour to go over a speed bump. What are they afraid of? Scratching the paint? I kinda want to roll down my window and yell at them: "You shock absorbers are built to handle anything from Mount Everest to the Amazon! A six-inch high cement blob should be no problem!"

If my modified Ford Taurus(Which despite you skeptics, is awesome and has a V-8 Super High Output engine) can handle a speed bump at thirty MPH with barely a jostle, any SUV can.

Please tell me if you agree that these yellow semicircular blobs that cover the road are hazardous to peoples health. Not only from rear end crashes (Because the yuppies that own $100,000 cars are afraid of a bump) and from death by laughter from these same people.


Don't forget to mail me your questions for me to write about!
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